Stories

If you ever wonder how we teachers are handling this quarantine and distance learning, this is my motivation.  It was also the cause for floodgates to open.

Dear Mrs. Davis,

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for an amazing school year. Every day I looked forward to walking into your classroom. It was a perfect way to start the day. You've impacted me in such a great way this school year. Last year I didn't have a great love for ELA. It wasn't a class I looked forward to every day. But this year, I was wishing I had more. I realized just how much I love writing about my reading, doing long writes, and just reading a good book! I feel like I have gained so much knowledge, thanks to you. I really wish I could've ended my time at Ladue getting to see you every day for another 6 weeks, but I understand we need to do this in order to stay safe. It was hard for me yesterday to learn we wouldn't be coming back. I really hope we can stay in touch and hopefully have a few zoom meetings together. Thank you so much for making my last year at Ladue so great! I will miss you very much next year.

When lock-down hit and virtual school began, a whole new world of class management started.

10. Enjoying a tour of the ceilings in the house

9.  Meeting all the family pets

8.  Impromptu piano solo during grammar lesson

7.  "Can I go to the bathroom?"

6.  Doing tumbling tricks down the steps

5.  Close up on picking the nose and then a careful examination of the contents

4.  Student all snuggled up in bed because 11:00 a.m. was too early to get up ... and he was just going back to sleep after the zoom ended so why get up and dressed?

3.  Student falling sound asleep right in front of the camera and drooling

2.  Clearly playing on another device

And, the #1 craziest Zoom Chat with 6th-Graders

1.  Mooning the camera (thankfully with PJs still on)

Middle school students who are English Language Learners are such a joyous challenge!

ME:  Hey, Lin.  How do you say 'good-bye' in Chinese?

LIN:  (tilts head and ponders question) Oh.  You say (tries to enunciate for me.  I have no idea what he said.)

ME:  Can you write it on the white board for me please?  I can't repeat what you are saying.

LIN:  (Goes to white board and writes - 再見)

ME:  Hmm, well I can't read that either.  Can you write it in letters for me?

LIN:  (Goes to white board and writes --  g-o-o-d-b-y-e.)

Lesson Learned:  Which of us is actually not communicating clearly?

I've had many joyous encounters with kiddos on the Autism Spectrum.  The darling young lady lives with Asperger's every day, and is a refreshing burst of brutal honesty. 

One year, a day before our Christmas break, she came up to me with a bag filled with gifts and declared:   "Mrs. Davis, my mom said I could only get presents this year for Christmas for my 3 favorite teachers. I'm sorry but I don't have anything for you."

Teachers are bombarded each day with questions.  Middle-School students often have the very best questions imaginable ... like this one.

Jane:  (approaches sheepishly from hall and quietly asks)  Mrs. Davis, I've been thinking about this question all day and it's really starting to bother me.  I think you're the only teacher who can really help me with the answer.

Me:  (very concerned about the question by this point)  Okay.  I'll try.  What's your question?

Jane:  If you get your tongue pierced, would spaghetti and food stuff like that get caught on it when you're eating?

I must admit that I have often said to my students in response to a question, "You know how some people say 'There's no such thing as a dumb question?' Well, they lied."  Hence is proof positive!

Absolutely true, copied as it was sent to me, email from one of my 6th-graders.

STUDENT:  Mrs. Davis.  I was wondering what I should put in the box on the form where it says "Essay Title"?

ME:  Um, the title of the essay?

STUDENT:  Oh, okay.

ME:  Big sigh.  Hugh sigh.  Deep sigh.  Eye roll.

Tony came in one day and handed me this weird little red gizmo magnetic guy.  It's actually a pretty neat little toy that I still have hiding on magnetic railings around my room to this day.

Tony said, "Here, I got this for you."

I'm fairly impressed that he thought of me and gave me a gift, albeit a strange little gift.  Still, he thought of me.  How sweet.  He doesn't normally act that way.

I said, "Wow!  Thank you.  Where did you get such a cute little thing?"

Tony replied, "Oh, I just found it in the library on the floor a couple of minutes ago."

This is a rather long story, but totally worth the read!

Christmas gifts from students are either the most wonderful ... or not ... gifts ever!  This year brought one priceless gift. 

I have a 13-year-old student who lives an extremely troubled life.  Extremely.  Troubled.

STUDENT:  Mrs. Davis, I have something for you.  It's in my locker.

Her locker is right outside my room, so we go there together. 

STUDENT:  No, you wait on the other side of the door so you don't see it.

I'm standing on the other side of her locker door.  She begins to rummage through the bottom of her locker, pulling out papers, books, an old lunch bag, and her coat.  She is nearly half-way in the bottom of the locker when she emerges with a cupcake for me.  (see photo above)

ME:  (Trying really hard to keep a straight face.)  Wow!  That's really sweet of you.

STUDENT:  I made it in cooking class today and wanted to give it to you.  It's an apple.  See the leaves and the stem?

ME:  Yes, I do see that.  (They're totally smashed, but I do see them.)  It's beautiful.  Thank you!  I'm sure it will be delicious.

STUDENT:  Remember when you told us about how much you liked that apple tree in your grandparents' back yard, and how you would climb it with your cousins?  You wrote that poem and read it to us?  So, I thought you'd like this.  That's why I made it look like an apple for you.

ME:  (fighting tears)  This is the best gift I've ever received.

While this cupcake will never be eaten (for obvious reasons), it will also be preserved because it is one of the most precious gifts I've ever received.  I am blessed.  It is still in my freezer 8 years later.

I always have a video tutorial to accompany homework in my 6th-grade class.  They are required.  They are pre-recorded, not live.  Everyone knows this, including the kiddo who sent me this email.  This has been been true with homework all year.  Today I get this email from one of my kiddos.

Dear Mrs. Davis,  Could you please turn up the volume in today's video?  I can't hear it  very well over my mom's cooking dinner.

My response?  Delete.  No reply.  Deep sigh.

We think our students are tech savvy, even more so than we are ourselves most of the time.  At least that's what I used to think until this happened.

A middle school boy came to my room today to borrow the laptop cart.  The cart is housed in my room and is plugged in to a wall outlet to keep the laptops charged.  As he began rolling it away, he said, "Oh, do you think I should unplug the cart before I take it?"

When giving a test in middle school, you might hear these questions ... although I hope not. 

James:  So, I didn't finish that one part.  I'm going to look back over my notes and study it a little more during lunch so I can take that part of the test later in study hall.  (Translation - Now that I know exactly what's on the test, I'm going to go look at the notes/answers for the things I missed and I'll finish this after I've looked up those answers.)

Donna:  Since I don't really know this last part of the test, is it okay if I just wait until we go over it in class and write down the answers then?

This sweet story actually occurred whilst I was teaching gifted little guys in grades K-2.  But, it's so funny I had to share it here now, years later.

Jimmy, a first-grader, was extremely gifted ... and an extreme perfectionist.  After finishing a project, I noticed Jimmy was crying as I tacked his drawing on the wall.  He'd inadvertently misspelled his name on the back of the poster and crossed it out.  It was completely invisible as it was against the wall for no one to see.  But he knew it was there.

ME:  Jimmy, it's okay.  We fixed it and no one will see it anyway.  The back of your picture is on the wall.  Please don't cry about this.

JIMMY:  I'm not crying.  My eyes have the hick-ups.

I broke my little toe one weekend.  That Monday I was hobbling around the room with my foot in a brace.  One of my sweetheart middle-schoolers noticed I was hobbling, and then I sat down propping up my foot during class. 

He said, "Does it hurt bad, Mrs. Davis" 

I said, "No, it's not too bad.  I just needed to prop it up for a minute."

He replied, "It's okay to admit it hurts.  We'll help you.  What do you need?"

Middle school parents are sometimes the most annoying part of the job.  There are hundreds of fabulous and supportive parents out there.  But, there are also a very few who are like this one. 

PARENT (email):  I demand you tell me the diagnosed needs of the other students seated around my son.  They might be affecting his ADHD and I should know whether they're diagnosed with something that would conflict with my child's needs.

I ignored this email for obvious reasons.   (He did bold-face the word demand.)

SAME PARENT A FEW DAYS LATER:  I guess you don't want to tell me the answer to my question do you?  I'd like to know why.  Or is it that you put all the ADHD kids together in one group and just don't want to admit it?

ME:  Yes Mr. Parent.  That is correct.  I find it invigorating to put all the attention deficit kids together and then challenge myself to find ways to deal with their constant interruptions.   (Okay, this is NOT what I replied, but I really wanted to.)

This parent did not get his request, by the way.  Unfortunately, I did have to spend far too long explaining FERPA to him.  And then I sent him to the principal's office ... literally!

Teachers everywhere, be careful with how you joke around your students. 

I would frequently joke with my 6th-graders that I knew Spanish.  "Just put an 'o' at the end of your words and you're speaking Spanish.  It's-o so-o easy-o you-o know-o."  They would roll their eyes at me since they all have been exposed to Spanish since Kindergarten and easily realize I am crazy.

But, they indulged my sarcasm, or so I thought until the last week of school one year when our Spanish teacher came to my room and asked if she could have one of my kiddos to retake his FINAL Spanish exam.  She explained, "Apparently he thought you just put an 'o' at the end of all the words and they become Spanish."  

After I explained my guilt, she jokingly responded, " I guess he saw no reason to study something so 'easy-o' even with a full year of classes!"

Teachers talk all day long.  We are bound to misspeak sometimes, right?

One day we were studying the differences between singular and plural agreement of pronouns.  I asked a young lady a question about a pronoun where the answer was "plural."  Being a little slower than others, I waited patiently as she worked to get the word out.

"P--  Pl -- Pu .." she kept repeating.  I knew she had the word at the ready, but couldn't quite speak it fully.

So, to encourage her, I said, "C'mon!  You got this!  I can hear the 'p' coming out of you already."

(Wait for it ...  It should sink in just about .... now.)

This is something I am trying to understand about our middle-schoolers.  How do we battle these influences on such precious minds these days?

STUDENT:  I just didn't feel like doing that assignment.

ME:  Why?  You are very smart.  And, I know you could do this work if you take a few minutes to think about it.

STUDENT:  Yea, but I'm also lazy.  And, I like being lazy better than thinking about this stuff.  Besides, it's not a video game, and that's what I like to do when I get home. 

ME:  If you continue to not do your work, you will not learn.  And you will flunk my class.

STUDENT:  I'm okay with that.  I won't need to know how to write when I grow up anyway.  The computer will do that for me.

Out almost the entire month of February for a major  surgery made me realize just how incredibly fortunate I am in this job!  I missed my students terribly.  They gave me some great notes and email while I was away.

"Don't wake up during the surgery."

"We will try to be nice for the sub."

"You shouldn't assign us much work while you're gone.  You know it will make you tired to grade all of that."

But my favorite note of well wishes went like this:  "I really miss you.  You are a good teacher.  You know, good.  Not the 'good' we call teachers who give us candy.  I really mean a good teacher.  Get well soon and come back."

AIDEN:  Mrs. Davis, did you know that we learned about the schist rock in science today?

ME:  No, I did not know that.

AIDEN:  Yep, we learned about it today, not last week.  You know how we took the MAP test last week?

ME:  Yes.

AIDEN:  Well, we didn't know schist before the MAP test.

Over in the corner, a group of boys are giggling hysterically.  I'm trying not to laugh, but it was really funny!

Interesting timing can make for some really intriguing events in the middle-school classroom.

My students were giving research reports in class this week.  Justin is up giving his report on water pollution when suddenly ...

JUSTIN:  (turns to me with hand on the side of his face)  I just wost my toofth.  Itsh going to thound phunny for me to tawk.

ME:  (a bit alarmed)  Would you like to go to the nurse and just start over with your presentation later?

JUSTIN:  No, that won't be necessarwy.  I can do dis okay.

He proceeded to completely finish the report, which was fabulous! 

Later, I asked if he wanted to go to the nurse for his tooth, assuming he'd taken it out and put it somewhere gross.  He said, "No, it's still hanging in my mouf and it will hurt." 

Some days it is so confusing ... do I teach middle school or kindergartners?

The other day I noticed a student with his hand stuck in his mouth.  I walked over to him.

ME:  Um, why are you sucking on your fingers?

DIFFERENT STUDENT:  Oh, he's sucking on his tooth.

ME: What?  Why are you doing that?

STUDENT:  It just came out and the blood tastes good!

ME:  That's disgusting!  Go to the nurse, get it in a baggie, and then scrub your hands until you have no more fingerprints left.

STUDENT:  Okay, but it really is good.

A few minutes later the student returns.

ME:  Did you get your tooth in a bag and in your locker?

STUDENT:  No, it's in a baggie, but it's in my pocket.  I might want to suck on it again later.

No matter how hip I try to remain, they remind me that I am not.

STUDENT:  Mrs. Davis, do you remember those really old-fashioned CDs when they had to go around and around and then how they changed to that not-as-old CD box thingy where you stuck the CD in a box or something and it played?

ME:  Yes, I remember both of those.  Why?

STUDENT:  (holds up her wireless ear buds)  Did you know that these days you can just put these in your ears and you don't even need a cord or anything to hear the music?  You can have all your music on your phone by magic!

ME:  Gee, I had no idea.

This was  one of those priceless moments when a middle-school boy reminded me of the tremendous hearts they all possess.

I have a kiddo who has been suffering terribly with severe issues causing him to miss most of school this year.  Today was his first day back in months.  He purposefully chose to sit on the far side of the room, as close to the wall as possible.  He watched, listened, and did what was asked, but he made no efforts to join his reading group at all. 

A few minutes later, I noticed that another boy from across the room quietly picked up his things and walked over and sat next to the lonely little stranger who hadn't been in school all year.  The second boy just sat there, not saying or doing anything to be intrusive, just sat there letting the other kiddo know that someone cared. 

They did not talk.  But I am certain that that little lonely soul felt a bit warmer today thanks to the big heart of another very special boy.

You know it's a full moon when a student says this in all total seriousness:

JOANIE:  Mrs. Davis, my note cards for my presentation just fell on the floor and now they're not in the right order anymore.  What should I do?

ME:  Well, are they numbered like I told you to do in the directions?

JOANIE:  Yes.  How does that help?

ME:  Oh, Joanie.  You're not terribly prepared for this presentation are you?

I'm not sure if our students are receiving the proper history lessons in elementary schools these days.  Last week I reminded my 6th-graders that we would not have school on Monday due to the holiday President's Day.

STUDENT:  What?!  You mean we have to celebrate Donald Trump?!  I'd rather come to school!

ME:  No, it's celebrating two of our most significant Presidents' birthdays -- Lincoln and Washington.

STUDENT:  They were presidents??  And they have the same birthday??

I love it when my students look out for me! Today one of my sweet little girls came up to me after class and said, "Mrs. Davis do you ever get to go to the bathroom? I always see you here at the door and in the room. You know you can get a UTI if you're not careful." 

The year I was set to go from 6th to 8th grade, I told my 6th-graders about it at the end of the school year.   However, one of my 6th-graders, when I told them, remarked:  "I'm not sure that's a good idea Mrs. Davis.  I don't think they'll appreciate your humor like we do." 

Once when learning new academic vocabulary terms, this happened.

ME:  Use your vocabulary words in a paragraph or a sentence please.  This will show me you understand them.

STUDENT (using the word "sinkhole"):  In my kitchen there is a sink.  In the middle of it is a hole.  It's called a sinkhole.

One of my highly gifted students gave me a glimpse of this the other day.  As we visited the library:

STUDENT:  Do you think they'll have a copy of War and Peace?  I'd like to read that one.

ME:  Umm, They might??  Why do you want to read that? 

STUDENT:  It's something I've been working toward in my reading life.  I'm ready to tackle it now. 

We search the library and, sure enough, they have one copy.  Phew!  Thankfully, it wasn't already checked out! 

As she is checking out the book, I notice she also has Great Expectations.

ME:  You're taking War and Peace AND Great Expectations?

STUDENT:  Yea, I thought Great Expectations would be a lighter diversion for me from War and Peace over the weekend.

ME:  Over the weekend?

Would you like to know what 8th-graders wonder about?  These are some truths they shared with me!

I wonder ...

-- which cup holder is mine in the theater?

-- if turtles are really fast, but they're just messing with us.

-- if the birds screeching on the power lines are singing or afraid of heights.

-- how much happier everyone would be if we all found the person we were destined to be with for life.

-- what life would be like if everything we did and said was recorded.

-- where all the balloons that float up into the sky go.

-- what would happen if all books were actually true.

My students certainly understand that I am extremely organized.  I teach organization.  I appreciate it.  I reward it.  I expect it.  I've commented that I am OCD, so much that I prefer it to be alphabetical -- CDO. 

So, this week as I explained something in great detail, one student popped up and reminded everyone of this by saying, "Remember guys.  She's OCD.  She's so OCD that she likes it alphabetical -- DCO!"  

I guess a day of reviewing the alphabet is now in order.

Today we are watching a documentary on 9/11 for historical content in reading.  At the  exact moment in the movie where the second plane hits the second tower, and explosion occurs, a HUGE bird SLAMS into my window!  We all screamed.  Thankfully, I have a TA in that class who is young and in control of her bladder,  of which I am not.  So I glanced at her and said, "I'm going to the bathroom right now."  And that was almost true! 

I think this was a compliment?

ME:  (to student) Are you okay?  It looks like you're having a rough day.

STUDENT:  How do you know?

ME:  You keep putting your head down, you're grouchy, and you aren't listening.  Gee, now that you mention it, those are subtle clues.  (smiling)

STUDENT:  You know, we can tell when our teachers are in a bad mood too.

ME:  Of course you can.  How do you know when I'm in a bad mood?

STUDENT:  Well, if you're not smiling, then you must be in a bad mood or you just don't feel good.  Cuz, usually you're smiling.

ME:  Was I smiling today?

STUDENT:  Yep.  Until you looked at me. 

ME:  (walking away so as not to let him see me smiling)

A treat for a middle-school teacher ...

The hour is nearly over, as is the day.  I'm working with one student, desperately trying to answer her question on the essay before we part for the weekend.  I notice another student is standing nearby waiting to speak with me.  I quickly finish with the young lady hoping I have enough time to check in with the young man who has been incredibly patient, but the bell rings.  He doesn't move.  He just continues to wait.  Finally, I dismiss the girl and turn quickly to the boy.

ME:  I'm so sorry  you had to wait!  What can I do for you?

BOY:  Oh, nothing.  I was just waiting to wish you a happy weekend and to tell you thank you for teaching us this stuff.

I am incredibly blessed!

Yesterday I received a fresh-out-of-the-oven loaf of pumpkin chocolate chip bread from one of my cherubs!  It was wrapped in foil and still steaming when I opened it up to breathe in the amazing smell. 

 "I knew you said you liked this flavor, so we made it fresh for you this morning," said my now favorite student ever as he handed it to me with a humongous smile on his face!

Yes, I did eat the whole loaf. Sometimes you don't worry about where it came from.

I love my ELL kiddos!  (That's English Language Learners.)  An adorable young man has stopped by my room every day just to say "hello" with his beautiful Indian dialect.  Apparently, his English is getting far better than I realized.  This happened yesterday.

HIM:  Oh, hello Mizzuz Davis.  I going to be a Rhode Scholar! 

ME:  That's so awesome!  Where did you hear that?

HIM:  I hear about it just dis morning.  I tell you more later.  I go to class now so not be late.

*********Next Day***********

HIM:  Hello again Mizzuz Davis.  You know what it mean to be Rhode scholar and how to spell it?

ME:  I think it means you are very smart.  Do you spell it r-h-o-d-e?

HIM:  Oh no.  It is r-o-a-d scholar.  Is for geography class.  We studying roads.  (Walks away cracking up at his joke on me!)

I try to make sure my life as a teacher reflects God's glory even though I'm not allowed to speak or preach of this.  Sometimes this happens:

STUDENT:  Mrs. Davis, I think you're the teacher I should share this with.  I'm one with Jesus Christ!

ME:  (stunned and unaware of how to respond without losing my job)  Wow.  What does that mean to you?

STUDENT:  I don't really know.  But, it's weird cuz I'm not even a Christian.

Please pardon the expression in this story.  It is necessary though.  :)

A young lady was running through the room at the end of the hour one day due to a consistent habit of being late.  As she did so, she tripped on a chair leg, dropped all of her things on the floor, and announced, "Oh Jesus Christ!"

"Wow, Molly, I did not think I would ever hear you speak that way," I commented helping her pick up the papers.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she replied.  "It's the Catholic coming out in me."

Today was the 8th-grade graduation, followed by a reception with cupcakes!  All leftover cupcakes (about 4 trays of them) were put in the teacher's lounge.

I walked in there about 5 minutes after most people had left to find one of our EGR (extra grace required) boys sitting happily at the head of the table with two of the trays opened, enjoying cupcakes to his heart's content.

"Samuel!" I said startled.  "When did the rule about students in the teacher's lounge change to an open-door policy?"

"Well, she said I could," he said pointing to another teacher on the other side, who looked back at him with a face that clearly said she had NOT given him permission.  "Okay," he said.  "I guess it changed when I saw all these sad cupcakes and they needed someone to rescue them."

I laughed so hard I let him have two more before making him leave.    (Well, he had just graduated, so it seemed okay.)

6th grade students are filled with energy and curiosity ... often like a toddler!   Their enthusiasm for life is infectious.  But, sometimes the real world knocks on my door and reminds me what some of these sweethearts deal with outside of school.

Today one adorable young man had a problem with talking well into the class period.  After four subtle reminders in 10 minutes to stop chatting, I semi-jokingly (but sternly) said to him, "You have taken my last nerve.  I have none left to give you so you need to... Stop. Talking. Now.  I still love you, but you have gotten on my last nerve.  Do you understand?"  He nodded and promptly got to work. 

At the end of class he walked up to me with his beautiful big brown eyes and said, "Mrs. Davis.  So even if I'm bad you'll still love me?  That's pretty cool." 

Oh how my heart broke at the thought of this child living in an environment where he would feel like he was not worthy of love if he was "bad."

A sweet young 6th-grader in my class came with her parents to the Open House this week.  As we were all wrapping up the evening, around 8:00 p.m., she said to me, "Mrs. Davis.  Have you been here all day since 7:30 this morning?" 

"Yes, I have," I replied stifling a yawn.

She hugged me and said, "Teachers really do give a lot of their lives to their students.  I hope you get some extra good sleep tonight."

During a quiet reading time, I noticed one young lady with an open book to one side of her desk, but intently drawing on blank paper instead of reading the book.  Did she think I would be fooled? I wondered.  She was sitting within 3 feet of where I sat reading myself, so surely she was not that unaware of my presence.

ME:  This is quiet reading time, not drawing. 

HER:  Oh, I'm not drawing.

ME:  Really?  Then what are you doing with that pencil and paper?

HER:  Oh, I'm doodling.

The district provided us with flu and shingles vaccines today as part of our insurance.  I had to get my shots at the beginning of my second hour, which meant I missed about 20 minutes of that class period.  When I returned, they were all so sweet and quiet just reading in their books. (A TA had been with them.  They weren't just sitting there alone.)

 So, as I walked in, one of the kiddos said, "Mrs. Davis!  You're here.  Where were you?"

I said to them, "Hey Guys.  Sorry I'm late.  I was up at the board office.  I got shot twice."  Immediately heads popped up, of course, because of my miscalculated comment.  Quickly, to fix my error, I said, "I mean I had two shots."

One young man, a very sweet and innocent enough kiddo replied, "You were up there doing shots?  Was it vodka?" 

He wasn't joking; totally serious.  It was as if he assumed we teachers did, indeed, do shots most mornings before work.

Some days I realize that when you have a job where you talk all the time, your words can get you into trouble you don't anticipate.  And other days I wish I could have a vodka shot before school.

I'm pretty sure teaching middle-school should not bring this much joy into my malicious nature.

I have hundreds of little post-it tabs of no use whatsoever. Tried to figure out what to do with them.

We are writing an essay today. No conversation. They immediately start barraging me with stupid questions like, "Does this have to be double-spaced." "Should I use spell-checker now or later?" So, I told them they each have 3 questions total. No more.

I gave each student 3 post-it tabs and explained: Each time you ask a question, I will take one of your tabs away. When they're all gone, so are your questions. Use your tabs wisely.

This was my favorite from poor little Henry who never speaks up or ask about anything.

H: Mrs. Davis, can I write about anything I want?

Me: Yes. (I take away one tab.)

H: So it could be about the day we had someone break into our house? (I take up second tab.)

Me: Yes

H: Wait. Is that two questions already? (I take away third tab.)

Me: Yes, and that's three.

Mrs. Davis did you play Minecraft when you were young? 

A conversation about a reading topic led to this conversation with one group of kiddos.

STUDENT: The character is just really old for that.

ME: How old do you think he is?

STUDENT: Oh, he's at least 50. Like a grandpa.

ME: Wow. So how old do you think I am then?

STUDENTS (3 of them completely serious): 27

Needless to say, they all got A's on the project.

But then sometimes it can go the other direction as it did in this conversation:

ME: Some of my first students are now 40+ years old! I've been teaching for a long time.

BOY STUDENT: Wow. How old are you Mrs. Davis?

GIRL STUDENT: Dummy! You don't ask a woman how old she is. Especially not someone old like Mrs. Davis.